Stuff Christians Like #612: Worrying About the Rapture
Filed Under (dee dee's posts, guest posts, humour) by dee dee on 29-11-2009
I LOVE the Stuff Christians Like site. Subscribe to it, it is hilarious. For instance this entry:
Worrying about the rapture
When I was eight years old my parents showed me a movie called A Thief In The Night. This movie was incredibly frightening to watch as an eight year old because it is scarier than 7 out of 12 Friday the 13th movies. If you’ve never been lucky enough to see it let me just say it is the ultimate rapture movie, the front-runner to Left Behind and The Omega Code, A Thief In The Night did for the rapture what The Godfather did for the mafia.
My parents showed me this movie because it was based on biblical prophecy, and because some if not all the events in the movie could really happen. I was sure they were right. I’d walk home from school, hear a marching band playing the background, and grow certain the Lord was warming up and the ultimate a trumpet sound would soon blare. I distinctly remember during a couple of sunsets looking in the distance and thinking I saw The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse. I woke up a couple of times in the middle of the night thinking I was in heaven and wondering why it looked just like my bedroom.
But I’m not alone. Worrying about the rapture is another thing Christians have liked for years. And because Christians also like their sermons delivered in three points I will give you three examples of when Christians worry about the rapture:
1) Worrying about being raptured before a major life event.
When I was eight I was scared that I’d be raptured before I got a girlfriend. I’d never had a girlfriend; never even kissed a girl. Sure, I loved heaven and Jesus but I didn’t know if they allowed girlfriends and kissing in the afterlife. So, I wanted to make sure I experienced this before I was whisked away. But that’s just the beginning. Many Christians like to worry about being raptured before graduating high school, college, getting engaged, getting married, having their first kid, having their first grandkid, and most of all before seeing their favorite sports team win the world championship. (Ask any Cubs fan what needs to happen before they get raptured. Red Sox’s fans on the other hand are safe; they can be called home at anytime now.)
