I don’t post much personal on the blog anymore as those of you interested in such things generally are my Facebook friends, but this one is pertinent to the blog: My house goes on the market early next week, and once it sells, my happy butt is moving from Florida to Colorado.
You can listen directly at the Theopologetics Podcast site here.
Show description: My friend Dee Dee Warren joins me to discuss some very personal and painful experiences from her past, before she was a believer, and what we can learn about them.
In about a week, I will republish on the Preterist Podcast feed.
Last week or so, I did an intensely personal interview with Chris Date, host of the Theopologetics podcast, on my past experiences with abortion. He plans on having the show posted on his feed this weekend, and after a week, I will repost it on mine. I will let you guys know when it is up on his site. It was a very hard show to do, and its brutal honesty will be hard for some people to hear.
I am also working on a Preterist Podcast episode as well.
Besides the backend administrative tagging of the posts, which will take probably more than a year to complete, I have taken a much needed vacation to Colorado. Which of course was gorgeous. I will post some pictures soon. I have also been posting much more at TheologyWeb than I had been for the past few years. I am in the planning stages of a new podcast episode as well, so I have been busy even if not obviously so.
This is a difficult post to write. I am presently separated from my husband (yes we were only just married in January). He has moved out of the home where we lived. Those who know me personally in both pastoral and personal confidences are aware of the situation and support me in this happening. I have been counseled that it would be proper for me to seek a divorce, which, unless God works a miracle, seems the most likely outcome. I am content to leave things be for now. Those who wish to gossip will do so. I cannot help that. There are Biblical reasons for divorce that aren’t simple infidelity which absolutely is NOT the case in this matter. I plan to say no further on the matter as I am an open book to those I consider my Christian accountability partners and leaders. If you are a personal friend of mine (you would know who you are–I have many personal friends that don’t live near me, and it is those who are in my regular “real life” that are intimately aware of the situation) and wish to know further in order to be at peace that I am not in some state of sin, write me or call. I have always been transparent and have no desire to stop that practice now. But the details are of no business to the general public.
Some have asked, why post this at all? This is why. I learned a hard lesson a long time ago during a cyberstalking incident. Some people will want to ferret out facts of your life that they don’t think you want others to know for whatever reason, and post them publicly as a form of psychological rape. I have been there.. It is terrorizing. I will never be in that position again. I reveal details of my life. I maintain control of my own life (of course under the control of God–which should not even need to be stated as that is the overriding presupposition). So the gossips will gossip, but the bare fact is something I revealed, and am in peace over. Grieving yes. Spiritual peace yes.
There is another reason. It is my choice to be a quasi-public figure, so certain details of my personal life are bound to be in the public sphere.
Now, despite the fact that I do have Biblical warrant, I exercised many feats of bad personal judgment, to which I have repented to all involved. A thing I don’t think enough of us do. We are to learn in this manner. Our bad judgment affects other people, and is a form of sin to be repented of and an opportunity to lean on Christ for better judgment. Much bookishness can cause one to be a very bad judge of personal relationships even when there is love. Love can blind. Too much charity can blind. I am still learning the balance.
This is not a hostile situation between the two of us. It is regrettable, and obviously I do believe, and have been advised I am in the right as far as Christian responsibility goes, but there is no hostility but still genuine affection and love and respect.
And that is all I intend at this time to say. I wish our world weren’t of the type where I had to make this kind of post at all. That people wouldn’t try to hurt others or gossip, but unfortunately it is fallen world, and I ask for your prayers, not your gossip. My recent bout of health issues is directly related to this situation. As God heals, I pray I will feel much better. I do have an ulcer and recurrence of chronic problems. The Great Physician is the one to whom I turn. God may yet work a miracle, but in all things, may His will be done, and the blood of Christ cleanse us from all iniquity.
In addition to TS Isaac damages to my home, I have some potentially serious health issues that have sprung up. I am waiting to hear and swamped with work. Just wanted to give you guys a heads up.
Tonight I was in Paltalk debating with some dispensationalists on the issue of Daniel 9 when a hyperpreterist entered the room and got in line for the debate. Now this particular person is probably the hyperpreterist I know the best, and frankly I like very very much personally, but I had to stand on my convictions that I do not participate in debates with hyperpreterists. It cloaks the view with the indice of Christian credibility and is confusing to the uninformed. To be honest, it was difficult to stand on this principle because I really like this person - at these times it becomes so easy to see why some knowledgeable people let their affections of friendship cloud their theological judgment. It is so hard to take stands against friendly persons. It is hard to think that someone who you would count as a friend is teaching heresy that must be shunned when it comes to some public theological venues as a matter of principle. So I said my last point, explained that I do not participate in debates with hyperpreterists as a general rule, that I would be available by IM or in my own room for anyone who wished to continue the discussion and left.
Once again, health issues have caused me to be absent - this time eye problems which may be the sympton of some underlying condition. Today I am greatly improved and hope to upload some material this weekend. If you have great health, don’t forget to praise God for it. Do it right now before you forget and don’t take it for granted.
I like to reflect on the past year(s) and see the lessons that God has taught me. This past year with its online harassment and now the death in the family as well as other personal trials and tribulations has been one of the toughest of my life. But boy, God is so awesome. I thank the Pastor who so long ago taught me NOT to pray that tribulation cease, but that I learn whatever lesson is intended so that the lesson would not need to be repeated.
What did God teach me this year besides the fact that there are some really creepy wierdos on the Internet (which gave me a passion for the cause of online harassment and privacy)?
He taught me the Lesson of Oz… particularly the tale of the cowardly lion. In other words, I realized that I had NO clue what courage really meant. The Word says that cowards will have their place in the lake of fire. Those words struck me hard a few years back as I am a phobic person, and have determined to try to overcome some phobias (airplane flying needs to come next - I am terrified of flying). I have so many God stories from this year of Tribulation that I am in awe. However, a few months ago a friend slipped one of those Christian trinket bracelets on my wrist. It just said “courage.” I found that strange, but then I saw so clearly that what God taught me this year was courage. I used to think courage was fearlessness. For example - Xena would be courageous. But that is utterly incorrect. Courage is not fearlessness. Courage is being frightened or intimidated and doing what you know is one’s calling or the right thing to do anyway. I am not a fearless person. But God is making me a woman of courage.
Remember my new verse:
Psalm 144:1 - He has trained my arms for battle and my fingers for war.
A few of my harassers gleefully proclaimed that their efforts would shut me up. Guess again.
As the new year starts, I want to thank my theological foes which have shown common human decency and integrity. I commit to pray for you.