The Preterist Blog ~ 100% Hyperpreterist Free|we can haz rezurekshun?

Interesting. Today I read an article by Samuel Frost in passing that mentioned me and actually accused us of getting along!!!!! (okay that part is true - as scandalous as that may be, we do get along) but then went on to say that my site has pics of Lucy Lawless scantily clad. Really? Now Samuel and I both live in Florida, and here it is not unusual for females to wear shorts. We are not talking Daisy Dukes, just shorts. The image of a fictional character (Xena - thus technically NOT Lucy Lawless anymore than show a picture of Luke Skywalker is posting Mark Hamil) I have on my site is not scantily clad by any means in the average everyday culture that Samuel and I both exist in. Now unless Samuel objects to the female leg as “scantily clad” (and insures that any female family member over whom he has any say never wears shorts) I think this says more about Samuel’s distraction rather than my site. I purposefully in fact do not choose screenshots that could be “scantily scad” in any kind of provocative way. In TheologyWeb in fact I photoshopped into an avatar additional covering wherein I thought there was too much skin.

I do have the plain text version for those who cannot handle the female leg. Please do use it if such causes you to stumble or think inappropriate thoughts about Ms. Lawless.

While writing this I just remembered that when my site had the graphic of the sculpture of the Archangel Michael stomping on Lucifer that I got a complaint that Michael’s loincloth was a bit too small.  To the pure all things are pure.

A friend of mine (Brandalf85 at TheologyWeb) has WAY too much time on his hands!

---

She’s into Preterism, AD70 and Prophecy
I also know she would only show her face to Theonomy
She’s into going online and adding things to Pretersite
She goes onto Paltalk and plays the Xena song on Friday night.She’ll make you change your post if you offend,
So don’t be a troll and annoy her to no end
Or your wounds will never mend.Online, Offline Livin La Xena Loca
She’ll talk about Matthew 24, Livin La Xena Loca
Her face is a mystery and she occasionaly drinks a mocha
She will wear you out, talking about Livin La Xena Loca.
Livin La Xena Loca, Livin La Xena Loca.

Woke up and went on shoutbox, nobody was talking there
Then DeeDeeWarren came on and discussed her hair.
She never takes lip from anyone, she’ll go Xena
Then she’ll use RTT’s gun, so you better run!

Online, Offline Livin La Xena Loca
She’ll talk about Matthew 24, Livin La Xena Loca
Her face is a mystery and she occasionaly drinks a mocha
She will wear you out, talking about Livin La Xena Loca.
She’ll talk about Matthew 24, Livin La Xena Loca
Her face is a mystery and she occasionaly drinks a mocha
She will wear you out, talking about Livin La Xena Loca.
Livin La Xena Loca…….

Livin La Xena Loca…….

Livin La Xena Loca, Livin La Xena Loca.

found here

I get really moved and affected by works of “art.” Art loosely meaning works of fiction, movies, television productions, plays, etc. They don’t have to be “Christian” productions either. Since the whole world is the Lord’s, there is a great deal to be learned by “non-Christian” items, whether the lessons be of things to do, or things to avoid, or the stark relief between life with Christ and without. A mature believer can handle “R” movies and real-life potrayals of situations without running in stark terror and tearing one’s “A bread crumb and fish” trite Christian cliche mass-marketing bauble shirt. A mature believer doesn’t necessarily have to run in stark terror from Harry Potter or start a bonfire with those works - there is something to be learned. It is in this way that I have learned and benefited a great deal from the “Xena” series - despite the gasps of fundamentalists that there are (egad!) pagan gods portrayed. Yes, and I am also so free in Christ that I can walk up to a bar and have a drink if I so choose.

First a note on Xena - it is a powerful story on redemption. No, it isn’t Christian redemption, and that is what is so interesting about it as it reveals that the archetypical desire for redemption exists in humanity even without the infusion of the Christian worldview and Holy Spirit. It is a lesson in how difficult and frustrating this search can be without Christ. Xena never feels as if she can really ever “do enough.” And she is right, she can’t. But to the shame of some Christians and Christian-themed stories, she is at least doing something. We are called to do, not to be saved, but because we already are. Anyways…

This post is particularly about March of the Penguins. If you have not seen this film, do so. Now. Right now. Okay, back? Wonderful wasn’t it? Here is a review by Nathan Wilson in Volume 17, number 5 of Credenda Agenda magazine:

Now on video, this “nature film” is phenomonal. But not as phenomonal as actual penguins. These three-and-a-half-foot-tall birds are the ultimate triumph of comedy over tragedy. Given what they go through, and the complexity of behavior necessary for survival, not a single one of them should rightfully be alive. Watch, and remember; these birds (and every other bird) were once dinosaurs who slowly adapted to fit their enviroment.

And if you believe that, I have some screwy theology to sell ya to go along with it.

Some comments have been made about my use of Xena avatars etc. For instance since some of them depict Xena battling men, the “I am not a psychologist, but I play one on the Internet” says that this is done in order to show that I believe I have dominance over men and hate men. Yes, I know. I will give you a second to wipe off your screen.

This is akin to saying Luke Skywalker battled Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers because he detested monocrome apparel, and therefore hates all who dare to wear it.

There is no accounting for decontextualized impairment I suppose. I mean after all, the BIBLE itself proves that God is a Worm.

Now let’s play “Get A Clue” -

Who are these prime example of manhood that we should all love that Xena is battling? Hmmm - they are all villians. Xena is a fictional story about good versus evil and turning one’s life from darkness to light. She also battles evil women, perhaps she also hates being a woman. Perhaps she is a doberman pincher trapped in a human female body, I mean think about it. Have you EVER seen Xena attack a doberman? Ha! My case is proven.

Now for those who are not the type to threaten people with publishing phone numbers and directions to their homes and workplaces, exactly why do I like Xena besides the obvious that it was a fun series, it was funny, and that Lucy Lawless played the part well?

Here is why. Xena was formerly a villian with some ethics - she justified herself by stating she only killed men when pillaging villages, never women and children. One of her warriors wanted to take over this army so he barged in without her knowledge and killed all, men, women, and children. Xena confronts him, and then the cry of a baby was heard. Xena grabbed the baby and saved its life, and her life went on a different path. Her army turned against her and tried to beat her to death. Making a long introduction short, she met Hercules and through him learned to see the value of good, the value of selflessness, and thus begins her journey to redemption. That all happened during the Hercules series.

The Xena series focuses on the rest of her life - her road to redemption. She spends it combatting evil and fighting always for good selflessly and fearlessly. Along the way she becomes even more human continuing on the path in which she said that Hercules “unchained her heart.” A lot happens in between but the motiff is redemption up until the very end when Xena chooses to go into what she knows is a suicide battle to redeem 40,000 souls who were trapped by a demon (remember this is Greek-mythology fantasy genre) and for whom she bore at least some responsibility for their death. She dies in a horribly brutal way, being riddled with arrows. She then is beheaded, and her headless body hoisted for all to see.

However….. there is a way that she can be restored to life if her ashes are poured into a specific place within a specific time. Gabrielle makes it just in time only to be stopped by the spirit of Xena who tells her no, if the 40,000 are to be released, she must stay dead, she gave her life for them….. and all along the road to that finale she made up for all her evil and helped make the world a better place.

That is why I totally now love the Xena series and stories. How many of us were born Christians? How many of us have done things we wish to redeem, not killing villages, but whatever it may be? We are all along the redemptive road, and Xena gave herself to good much more than any of us do. The theme resonates with me. I was a really tough and aggressive gal for the devil, I can do no less for Christ.

So to those ignoramuses who claim that pics of Xena beating up on some “man” are prima facie proof of misanthropy - remember you are defending the murderers, pillagers, and all other manners of evil that Xena was stopping. Get a clue.

Or… ohhhh….. ohhhh…. it’s my turn to play Internet Psychologist - those particular persons are upset with Xena killing villians and say it is just men is because they are male villians and well, its just professional courtesy, you know… the same reason a shark won’t eat a lawyer Legal humour, you gotta love it.

Yes it is that bad on the Scale of Cheese. There has never been another production worse, nor shall ever be. Of what do I rant? The NBC mini-series Revelations. It would not be so bad I suppose if one were utterly ignorant of the Bible and just watched as a corny “spiritual thriller.” I could not do that. My husband got up and decided going to bed at 9:10pm was much more entertaining than watching this. So I sat alone and watched. And watched. And was embarassed for the creators.

So here are some disjointed rantings on some things that were so bad.

The “satanist” was straight out of a bad early 80s black metal band or a character from Michelle Remembers or The Satan Sellers. Cornball. But then again, that was good as well for I am sure it royally mortified the vanity of satan to be represented by such a character.

Next… the miracle baby that was found afloat the flotsam and jetsam of the ferry tragedy. Up close the baby was adorable and real. The shots from the rescue barge though were so obviously computer-generated it looked like that dancing baby from Ally McBeal.

Next…. that nun has a habit of misquoting Scripture. Get it?? Habit!! Ow, I kill me. Anyways, this young lady Olivia was hit by lightning several times, and was alleging in a persistant vegetative state (starting to look more and more like a carrot - I HATE that term “vegetative,” but it is easier to starve/dehydrate a vegetable than a human being… but I digress) yet was quoting apocolyptic Scriptures in Latin which we find out later is likely from the murdered daughter of Dr. Massey who is using Olivia as, well frankly, a medium. Anyways, the sceptical Dr. Massey, the obligatory “I’m hostile to religion” guy, explains that Olivia had her fillings shot up into her brain from the lightning and the continuing electrial storm was stimulating these filings and causing these manifestations - which explains why Olivia only performs when there is lightning. The fiesty heroine, Sister I Can’t Remember Her Name, shoots back, “As lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also is the Word of God.”

EGAD!